


Hollow Ache

by Death_Herself



Series: SpideyPool Quickies [6]
Category: Deadpool - All Media Types, Spider-Man - All Media Types
Genre: Existentialism, M/M, Very Short Piece Written Out Of A Bout Of Sadness, life is short
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-13
Updated: 2017-02-13
Packaged: 2018-09-24 02:14:57
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 510
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9695303
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Death_Herself/pseuds/Death_Herself
Summary: In short, Wade Wilson grieves the loss of Peter Parker.Written during a bout of sadness and existential crisis.





	

There’s a **hollow ache** in a goodbye. But none so deep as the last.

 

Falling in love is all too easy, especially for me. Maybe not for someone like Peter Parker though. No, he holds everyone at arm’s length. I couldn’t blame him for this tactic. Not after all he’s been through. 

I’ve loved and lost, and lost, and lost. It’s hard to believe in someone when everyone else is so cruel.

It was too easy to believe in Peter. I should have known then that was a sign of just how much the falling in love and staying in love would hurt. 

It took years to convince him of how deep I do love him. It took just as long for him to admit he felt the same.

He wasn’t a hopeless romantic like me. He did try though, in his own analytical way.

 

It worked despite the odds stacked against us. 

Pain forged us to be understanding. Love shaped us into the form of one another. 

We didn’t agree on everything. No one does.

I was desperate for love. He was desperate for stability. While this clashed in the beginning, we ended up fulfilling those deeply rooted needs in one another.

It was beautiful, so beautiful. His eyes would shimmer when he would see me, even if he was seemingly indifferent. I grew to know it was just who he was. 

Like he would know how my exaggerations and overbearing exterior was a front for a broken and sad inner child.

He was everything I could ever need and more. So much more.

 

Every good night kiss was filled with truth.  
          Every touch was meant.  
                      Every I love you was awe inspiring.

He didn’t stay out of obligation or boredom. I didn’t stay out of loneliness or need. 

We chose to ride out any mistake and sorrow.

Until the very end.

Maybe that’s why the end was so painful.

It felt like a promise had been broken. Not by God, not by the universe, not by him, not by biology, but by my heart.

Every night ended with “I love you” and “goodnight, baby.” And I knew… I knew one day I wouldn’t get those precious words anymore. I knew.

I chose to seek them and enjoy them anyway.

 

I don’t think it’s unfair. I never will. 

The world needed Peter Parker, I needed Peter Parker.

I will always need him. Even now, when he’s no longer here.

Love may find me again. But never in the way it did with him. 

With him it was more.

It was complete.

I was whole.

 

He will be the only person to ever own the best version of myself, even when he saw the worst.

I hope I paid him some sort of equal respect but I will never know.

I just know that the way he smiled for me was unlike one I ever saw him give anyone else. And for that I’m thankful.

 

There’s a **hollow ache** in a goodbye. Especially the last goodbye, kissed to his lips. 

**Author's Note:**

> I promise I'm fine and not dealing with a death. I'm just thinking about how I would feel to survive everyone I know much like Wade. 
> 
> If I say Happy Valentine's Day, would that be too morbid? Yeah, probably. XD  
>  
> 
> Chapters for my other fics are to come! Promise!


End file.
